christmas vignettes

couch in process and frames freshly on the wall...i love my wall!

galvanized tub to go under tree as of yet but i love this tree

new ikea shelves up with holy day decor

another shelf and some prophetic art by the babes

vintage "pink" tree in vintage "pink" bathroom with prophetic art also by the babes

sweet hot pink wreath with pastel ornaments for sissy

the new and the old... the then and the now....

while this is a new blog; blogging isn't new to me.  i had two several years ago. i still have them but they are unpublished.  i have tried, on a few occasions, over the past three to four years to "get back into it"...to put my voice "back out there".

each post was a struggle, literal wooorrrk to get it finished and once i published a post i was left unsatisfied.  as i sought out God's opinion and help on starting up old blogs or starting an all new one His answer was clear, blogging isn't My best for you right now.

hmf.  hmf.  as i sat with His answer that didn't align with my want/my looking for something to fill a void i was experiencing;  that was my response.  hmf.  there may have even been a shoulder shrug/slump to accompany my hmf.


however, after just a few moments of pondering, hmf-ing, slumping and feeling disappointed...i then experienced relief...and a lifting of those slumped shoulders...and a clarity in my spirit that could be likened to feeling brighter.  what i began experiencing was the weight of something i tried to do myself, (without having asked God what His thoughts on the subject were) being lifted off, the heaviness of putting forth great effort into something i thought i wanted-seemed like i could make it work, being removed as i  began to understand that His best wouldn't be heavy, wouldn't be wooorrrk, and wouldn't leave me unsatisfied.  those things were the fruit of my efforts.

finding out what His best for me was in that time and then participating in it meant it would be light, would be industrious and would leave me satisfied and full.  not to say it wouldn't require effort from me...quite the opposite...it typically (for me anyway) involves an expense of some kind.  (as in a changing of old habits, turning in thought processes that were slow and unresponsive, being willing to be changed, etcetera)

so.

i did not post for over three years.   and....it was gooooood.   i missed it...missed the community, missed the writing, missed the ideas.  but it was goooood.

yesterday morning, december 13th, i awoke with an intense desire to write.  my initial response was that i would journal, or at the very least brainstorm.  once i rose and got the day going i never went near my journal or a pad of paper.  what i did find myself in front of was the computer...logging into my former blogs.

once i realized what i was doing i had to check in with God about this...i knew He was the one that put the desire to write in me during the night...i knew He had not let the idea leave me throughout the day...i also knew from past experience that while He might stir an idea up in me i can easily go the wrong direction with it.

so.

i checked with Him, asked Him did He really want me to start a blog again?  was this His best for me right now?  and if so then what in the world was i going to blog about? and, do i re-start an existing one and begin anew?  i was, without question, experiencing a desire to write but there was no clear topic, title, subject or ideas...simply the urge to write.

figure out what His answer was yet???   (chuckling to myself just now!!)

it was "yes!" to the first two questions and the answer to the third it was unequivocally "begin anew", the fourth? the answer to that fourth question was, well, less clear, less succinct and one that will (and did yesterday) put me in the position of needing to hear Him in the moment for what it is He wants me to discuss and ponder.  both internally throughout my day and publicly here on the blog.  this is not disconcerting...it actually puts me in a happy place.

all of the words above to simply lead you here:  the second day of blogging. aannnd...it isn't striving.  it isn't wooorrrk, it isn't heavy. it isn't unsatisfying.  while i haven't had monster ideas and brilliant thoughts that are saving the world, my city or even my family...it is good.  it is fun.  (and it is only my second day...) it is more than satisfying...it is already fulfilling and exciting.  it is the process of of listening for what Holy Spirit is saying; what i am hearing; being in partnership with God for my life and what He wants to do through me;  it is light but still challenging. it is all of this because He is in it with me...and i have learned from experience; if Jesus is in something, anything, with you?  oh man...there is gonna be some gooooooood stuff!

so.

i am here again, not as who i thought i was but who i have always been and am discovering...

more about me?

well, i am more than me.  i am also my family...so here is a bit of an intro:

my amazing other half is my husband.  a guy i love more and more day after day. he is a handsomely beautiful man (and moreso each year...), strong, funny, charming, passionate about me, his kids and Jesus...oh and about our country and fly fishing.  he is gentle, kind and has the heart of The and a Father.  he is also a creator...and we are gradually making way for him to have more time to tap into his creativity.  as time moves on you (and me!) will learn more about him.


i am also a small bit of my children and they are of me.

sissy is the first born of  four to our marriage.  she is almost a teenager and has been patiently waiting to be one all of her 12th year.  she is beauty manifested.  not merely lovely to look at but beautiful to be around as the purity of her heart is revealed.  she has the talent of humor, joy, quietness, playfulness, artistry, song, dance and cooking all at her disposal to bring comfort, joy, a lifting of spirits or simple plain old-fashioned fun to anyone at anytime and is discerning enough to know which one to use when.  she can be a little girl or a mature young woman as the situation requires.  she too has passion for Godliness and patriotism that will not be quelled quickly when the embers are stoked.

the second child born to us was another lovely little girl who was with us just long enough to want more and yet know her life, though short, was a gift that opened our hearts to the love and compassion of Jesus.

our third child and oldest son is big brother.  he is sensitive, strong both physically and spiritually, wonderfully joyful and coming into a sense of humor that is surprising us all.  he can be quiet and gentle and loud and fully present.  he, too, has many talents at his disposal and a heart to give away as much as he can through baking, drawing, sewing, crocheting or doing chores without being asked.  he has a love for the Word of God that runs deep in him and loves to see the love of God heal people.  he is a beautiful deeply running river full of abundant life.

the youngest of our brood and the youngest son is little brother.  he, like his siblings, is sensitive and emotions run deep. his heart for Holy Spirit brings us many questions and desires for answers to simple and complex ideas. he, too, is no less creative than any of us even though his years are less than all of ours...his paintings are alive with color and geometry that belies deeper truths.  his humor is also beginning to shine through and has it's own flavor...it can come with a straight face that catches all of us a bit off guard but almost always leaves us laughing.

each of our children are closely knit and very similar but so very different and unique.  parenting them is a challenge and keeps us in a place of constantly stretching our own abilities, having to find new places within us to fulfill a need for them and yet teach them to strengthen themselves in God and not be 100% dependent on us 100% of the time.

the aforementioned people are in my life every hour of every day, whether they are physically in front of me or not.  i am consistently and constantly aware of them and where they are and what they are doing, whether they are well and whole or in a struggle.

there is one more in our lives as a family and in my life as an individual and that is Jesus Christ my Lord, Savior and friend.  my life would not exist as i know it now if it were not for Him.  i cannot exclude Him from the people that are with me day and night simply because i do not see Him physically as i see my husband and children.  He is even more a part of me than they are since He is in me and i am in Him.  this blog will mention Him frequently because this blog is about my life and He is my life, literally and figuratively.

we also, as a family, have two dogs and one cat, (i am looking to add a second kitty...).  husband is looking to add chickens to our family and i smile sweetly. (at least from the inside out it's sweetly!).

that was a bit about us and the plan is to put down more...i look forward to getting to know some of you and hearing/reading your stories...